和孩子比肩一起成長--“爱心小猪”和讲座提要

“爱心小猪”和讲座提要

树华基金会:http://www.soaronline.org/html/sch/main.php

2013 SOAR Fundraising News Release 和孩子比肩一起成長 (愛心小豬領養計劃)

聶崇彬

由樹華基金會創辦的「愛心小豬領養」計劃,鼓勵灣區孩子們,每天存一元錢,也就是國內孩子讀高中一天的學費,更會配合基金會明年春假去山區探訪活動,希望孩子在繼續青少年期健康的「自我中心」的同時,對社區有持久的關注,逐漸培育一個關注社會眾生的「Big mind」 (寬大的胸襟)。小豬計劃推出,不僅家長們家長們歡迎,更受到了祖輩們的歡迎,他們覺得鼓勵孫輩少吃零食飲料轉而把省下的錢給災區的孩子做學費,這裡的孩 子可以養成節約的習慣,並得到多點健康,那邊的孩子可以繼續自己的人生,實現夢想,也就是說,回饋祖國可以從點滴做起,報效國家,也不愁沒有接班人了。

再次感谢100多位校友和文友家长昨天下午在亲子讲座后的支持,六位爱心家长领养了树华基金会的“爱心小猪”,现场购买DVD的捐赠也填满了另一只“小猪”,加起来可以支付7位国内高中生一年的学费! 还有一位妈妈已注册为基金会做义工。

很抱歉因为内容太多,时间没掌握好,没机会回答家长的问题。附上讲座提要。

什么是成功?父母要自己去定义。我比较喜欢的Quotation:”Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get. — by Dale Carnegie”

How Narrow Definitions of Success Adversely Affect Our Children?

62% of Bay Area high school students surveyed (out of a sample of nearly 5,000 youth) said they always or almost always work hard in school, but only 10% always or almost always enjoy schoolwork.
Source: Galloway, M. K., Conner, J. O., & Pope, D. (2009). Stanford Survey of Adolescent School Experiences.

What is Princeton Looking For? http://www.princeton.edu/admission/applyingforadmission/requirements/

“We look for students with intellectual curiosity… We look for students who make a difference in their schools and communities…. Tell us if you’ve had a job or a responsibility in your home. We want to know what you care about, what commitments you have made and what you’ve done to act on those commitments.”

What is Harvard Asking for?
https://college.harvard.edu/admissions/application-process/what-we-look
“– Does the candidate have a direction yet? Where will the candidate be in 1 year? 5 years? 25 years? Will she contribute something, somewhere, somehow?
— What sort of human being is the candidate now? What sort of human being will she be in the future?
— Does the candidate have initiative? Is he a self-starter? What motivates her?”

Soft Factors of Success in Education — from administrators
– Good study skills so students know how to access the information they want and know how to get the help when they need
– Confidence that they can accomplish anything if they are willing to work hard enough
– development of critical thinking skills
– development of good social and communication skills

5 Characteristics every successful person has (by Jeffrey J. Mayer, 2012):
1. They have a goal.
2. They have a plan.
3. They have specific knowledge or training.
4. They are willing to work hard.
5. They don’t take no for an answer.

8 win-factors distinct to successful people (The Winner’s Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success, 2010)
Self-Awareness
Motivation
Focus
Emotional Balance
Memory: utilize memory of past experiences to anticipate the future and predict the best responses to new situations
Resilience
Adaptability
Brain Care: adequate sleep, good diet, exercise and stimulation

Motivation: needs a general attitude of valuing children’s autonomy and to provide autonomy support
— Roots in innate curiosity
— Offering choice & minimizing controls
— To meet basic psychological needs for “connection & competence”
— Making available information that is needed for decision making and for performing the target task
(Self-Determination Theory)

Students are more academically motivated when 1 of 4 conditions is present:
– when the task has interest to them
– when they see a direct link between their actions and an outcome
– when completing the task brings social rewards
– when they feel competent enough to complete the task at hand.

Additional Motivation Tips
◾Mindset: to build growth mindset that values the efforts and process and cultivate internal locus of control
◾Extrinsic reward can be useful if motivation is in short supply but productivity and external reward are inversely proportional after a certain threshold.
◾Intrinsic rewards diminishes when external reward became the primary reason for doing it.
◾Concentrate on concrete Steps rather than intangible aspects of a task motivates us to start it.

Self-awareness 自我意识
— Authentic and stable sense of self
— Confidence: know both strengths and weaknesses
尊重孩子的興趣﹐發現孩子的長處,提供能發揮其長處的活動﹐從中建立現實的自我概念

Focus 注意力
– Avoid distraction
– Mindfulness: pay attention to immediate emotions, thoughts and body sensations without judgement

Emotional Balance 情绪管理
–幫孩子認識自己的情緒與情感
— 情緒背後的ABC (Antecedent—Belief—Consequence): 人往往按照个人信念對當前事件作反應
— 延遲滿足(Delayed Gratification)

Memory: 3 ways to increase its strength
— Practices: the 10,000-hour rule
— Form them under highly emotional circumstances
— Attach new information to something already familiar

Resilience 韧性
— Highly resilient brains are able to temper emotional response and quickly recover
— Learn to tolerate mistakes and learn from failure
– Build Internal Locus of Control: Praising efforts to cultivate persistence

Brain Care
– Regular exercises: at least 30-minute x 3/week
– Adequate sleep
– Nutrition: EFAs; berries, apples, Omega-3 & 6
– Stimulation: new experiences; hobby; deep breathing

How to cultivate traits for success?
– Growth Mindset
– Respect & trust your children
– Understand your children’s unique temperament, interests, strengths and relative weaknesses on multiple intelligence
– Support Autonomy

Challenge Success, Stanford University (2009)
— Ease performance pressure & debunk college myths
— Help children find their passion & see the connection between school studies and future
–Build responsibility at home and in the community
— Maintain down time and family time. Avoid over-scheduling

Reference:

The Winner’s Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success (Da Capo Press, 2010).

Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books, NY.

Gladwell, M. (2008). Outliers: The Story of Success. Little, Brown and Company, NY.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books: NY.

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