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我与我的父母

我老爸在上海上班,一周难得见他两天,我通常是与老妈住在这老式公寓里。


    我不是个开朗的人,好象对待任何事物都冷冷的,我妈受不了我这种习气,自打我有这怪性格之后就不停的唠叨让我改——她喜欢热闹,不过终于 也放弃了,不再说我什么,只是自顾自的看肥皂剧。因此,平日里我们家是很冷清的,除非我心情好时会像老妈说一说学校里的事情,这在她眼中,应该算是很幸福 的事了。


    老爸基本上是每周必在家过双修,他在铁路距离工作,是个高干,乘火车可以免票,不然我想他也不愿回来这么勤的——他在上海工作了三年,想 必也学会了上海人的精明。老爸不很勤快,每周回来总会在家务活问题上与老妈发生一点分歧:他可从来不愿多干活,比如烧饭做菜时总让老妈先把菜洗好,自己也 就动几下锅铲而已。他向我解释是劳动分脑力劳动与体力劳动,它们分开才是社会的进步,在我看来这无非是让他利益最大化的借口:说他干活了吧,也就只能算是 收尾工作,每重要过程的;说他没干吧,可你也看到她确实是干了。他还常常做出很累的样子在床上躺着,确实令人不好说他。


    在周末的饭桌上,我才会显出久违的热情,与老爸讨论“学术问题”,比如冥王星到底能不能算是大行星;人死后他的思维到哪去了;为什么事情 会这样发生而不是另一种情况之类世界级难题,根本出不了什么结果的。但我们乐此不疲,常常会放下饭碗,拿着筷子指挥棒般的舞动,极力证明自己“观点”的正 确性。这时候一向热闹的老妈却少见地默不作声地吃着饭,全然不顾我们的油星乱溅,饭粒乱喷,毫不理会我们的争论。她也是个大学生,要说学是绝对不比我和老 爸差,完全有能力参与我们的热烈讨论,也只能说她对此并不感兴趣。当然,饭桌讨论往往是以老爸的胜利告终,我也无所谓——他饭都比我多吃好几年,书给我的 花期不丢脸?!


    这就是我家,他的节奏如心跳一般:五天停顿期,为时两天的跳动就显得如此富有激情与能量,之后又停五天……在这个平凡的家庭中,我从出生 时那个小不点长到这么大;从什么都不懂到与老爸讨论世界级难题;从婴儿到孩童到少年到青年并即将走向成年……  


    在这个家中,我哭过、笑果、挨过大、受过气、得到过安危、获得过鼓励、成功过、失败过、冷淡过、热情过。在这里,我又老爸、老妈,有幸 福、温馨。因此,我感谢造物主,让他做了我爸,让她成为了我老妈,让我们共同组成了这个家。


    我祝福我们的家……


赶快报名:4月30日热门讲座 ”请你明白我的心“

            上个月的讲座“Teens speak out” 引起了许多父母们的共鸣。会后有许多父母们说,怎样才能让孩子们也能明白我们的心呢?在美国做父母怎么这么难呢?
    是啊,我们这一代人来美国打拼不容易,辛辛苦苦为家,为孩子每天不知付出了多少,但是,他们明白我们的心吗?你觉得委屈吗?
    我们很荣幸能邀请到在洛杉矶的叶高芳博士为我们免费讲座


请你明白我的心


       叶博士将主要和我们分析父母和孩子之间存在的问题,以及夫妻之间,和其他人际关系之间存在的问题。然后他会轻松,幽默地和我们分享如何实际地沟通,使我们的孩子能明白我们的心,我们的配偶能明白我们的心,我们的同事朋友能够理解我们的心。
    希望通过这次讲座,我们能够和孩子,和我们的家人能更好的彼此沟通,和朋友同事有更和睦的关系。


Location:科学中心(河洛医科大学楼的后部)
               441 De Guigne (or DeGuigne) Dr., #201, Sunnyvale, CA 94085


Time: 04/30/2010  Friday  7:00 PM to 9:00 PM 


Contact:王晓瑞 (408)480-7547
 
定 位 请发Email:xiaoruit@gmail.com 
座席限于60位。请大家速速报名。
 
讲员背景:
  
     叶高芳博士現任“真 爱家庭协会”北美及国际会长, 是国际著名的家庭教育与协谈专家,也是推展专业家庭服务的先驱者。他经常应邀到世界 各地主持讲座及培訓,是中国官方、大学及咨询机构经常邀请的讲员,深受欢迎与肯定,享有「心灵捕手」及「亲情大师」的美誉。
       叶博士曾任台北家庭协谈中心主任、长庚医院社服处处长、台塑管理训练高级讲师、官渡书院校长等职。
       叶博士拥有化工學士、道学硕士、协谈学 学硕士、 家庭辅导学博士、辅导心理学博士及博士后研究员(跨文化辅导及心理学)等学位及资格。研修于美國的Princeton、 Claremont及Harvard等著名学府。此外,还获得许多教育、 学术及临床方面的督导、训练员、研究员和院士等专业资格。
      38年來,叶博士委身致力于家庭事工及其推广,著有十余本书籍。
      叶博士曾在去年的8月8日为我们举办的讲座全家学EQ—–陪 孩子走过,伴孩子成长的特约讲员。

注: 看3月27日的“Teens speak out” 讲座的录像请到 http://www.dingding.tv/bencandy.php?fid=38&id=54
        或
       www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Nk944O2GCA
       www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVIhSZu6n8
       www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP90FcPXg80
       www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N_8PiwjisE
       www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHXCRMWrGoU
       www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cHRV7_eX5I

     读总结到

http://www.bayecho.com/content/%E5%80%BE%E5%90%AC%E5%BF%83%E5%A3%B0-teens-speak-out-%E4%B8%80
http://www.bayecho.com/content/%E5%80%BE%E5%90%AC%E5%BF%83%E5%A3%B0%E2%80%A6teens-speak-out-%E4%BA%8C
http://www.bayecho.com/content/%E5%80%BE%E5%90%AC%E5%BF%83%E5%A3%B0%E2%80%A6teens-speak-out-%E4%B8%89
http://www.bayecho.com/content/%E5%80%BE%E5%90%AC%E5%BF%83%E5%A3%B0%E2%80%A6teens-speak-out-%E5%9B%9B
 


2010/04/24 BOOK CLUB 《大江大海.一九四九》

硅谷女性协会诚意邀请您参加我们的四月份读书会

主题:《大江大海.一九四九》 ( 作者 龙应台 )

主持人:海上的云 (又名海云) , 湾 区广受欢迎的博客作家。作为忙碌的上班族一员,海云闲暇时间舞文弄墨,是位高产作家,著有畅销小说《冰雹》,《放手》,《出轨的中年女人》等等,以及大量 的散文随笔,其博客作品在万维网,文学城等网站一直高居点击率排行榜前矛。海云阅读广泛,见解独到,此次聚会,必能与大家碰撞出智慧的火花!欢迎大家踊跃 参加,聆听海云的精彩点评!

万维读者网博客 http://blog.creaders.net/Beautyinautumn/

文学城博客 http://blog.wenxuecity.com/myindex.php?blogID=10156

时间: 2010/04/24 Saturday 3:00 – 5:00 PM

地点:硅谷亚洲艺术中心 ( Silicon Valley Asian Art Center)

4th Floor, Central Computer Building

3777 Stevens Creek Blvd.(cross street of Saratoga Ave.)

Santa Clara, CA 95501

408-24802698

www.artshu.com

Please RSVP on Evite: http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/DZVSFBFSTTNWXPGQUJXM/longyingtai

《大江大海.一九四九》 是龙应台筹备 20 年、闭关 400 天写成的新书, 涉及两岸敏感历史,引起重大争议。 龙应台从家族史出发,写出人性化的一九四九, “ 向所有被时代践踏、污辱、伤害的人致敬 ” 。 她持续三百八十天的历史之旅,往南京、广州、长春、沈阳、马祖、台东、屏东、美国等地访问亲历者、查考历史现场,还有五六十人的口述回忆,写成《大江大海 一九四九》。二零零九年九月二日,《大江大海一九四九》在台湾正式面世。短短一个多星期,龙应台已经收到数不清的读者来信,许多是年轻人,几乎所有人都 说,是流着泪读完这本书。

对龙应台自己,这是从未有过的写作体验。持续三百八十天的历史苦旅,她尝试找回父亲母亲所经历的真实的一九四九,也找回许许多多普通人的记忆。她用独特的冷静而深情的笔调打开 1949 这段华人记忆里的黑盒子 , 用文字向父母那一代人致敬 , 更以文学的方式來面对这段执政者害怕面对的历史。

硅谷女性协会网上转载

http://www.svwomen.org/cms/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=2793&extra=page%3D1

记得海云有约,阳光明媚的四月天,我们共享 好 书 佳作!

相关博文:

涓涓细流 感人动心…读龙应台《大江大海 1949 》

http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201002&postID=239

目送龙应台 http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201002&postID=7636

读书会后再谈龙应台

海云有约

硅谷女性网页:http://www.svwomen.org/svwomen/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=181:20100424-book-club-&catid=1:cultureartsevent&Itemid=55


笑一笑——- 补课

老師﹕這作業是你自己作的嗎?
學生﹕不,爸爸幫我作的。
老師﹕回去跟你爸爸說,星期天他也要來補課。


千里之外(改)

被窝很温暖
闹铃很讨厌
我不愿起来
时间被安排
如此地紧密
我不能发呆
走在校门外
我看不出来
有多少精彩
书声不存在
你听不出来
是我在感慨
梦醒来是作业将我的窗帘拉开
那绷如弓弦的神经经不起谁来拆
我每天醒来神魂不在早饭不归来
学生时代或许不该被老师们灌坏
我但愿醒来作业不在早饭能回来
考试满分,老师不坏,是我们,的期待……


笑一笑 —— 转贴:考试

考試open book
但是某生,依然還是把課本藏在桌面下,攤在大腿上抄。

老師看到 了,感到不解,特地走過來….關心地對他說:
「你,為什 麼,不拿上來抄呢?像現在這樣,不是很累嗎?!」
學生答: 「可是,這樣子,我比較習慣呀!」


吃罚单了吗? 试过” Written Declaration”吗?

 

According to the california vehicle code, you can send in a written declaration to contest any traffic ticket. Then the officer must send in his letter to explain  the case. A judge reads both sides of the case and decides if you are guilty/not guilty. The cool thing is that if you are found guilty you can still request a trial de novo (a new trial.. but it has to be a normal trial in front of a judge, not another written one) so there’s no way to lose.

The other nice thing is that if the police officer does not send in his letter, your case is dismissed by default.

This option is not listed in the letter you receive after you got the ticket. But you can go to the clerks office to ask for a written declaration form. They will give you without asking any questions. There are detail instructions on the form.

Best luck!

 


English 101

 It’s spring break time!  Our family landed on the beautiful Kauai island to spend the week.  After we spent some time on Anini Beach, we were driving to Poipu for additional beach time and buy some "Poke" from local Fish Market.  Poke is a type of Hawaiian Shashimi, which is fresh raw fish cut into cubes and mixed with soy sauce, sesame oil, yellow onion, etc.  

While driving to Poipu, Daddy mentioned the Anini Beach as "Anani" beach and pronounced "Poke" as "Poi".  Poi is a typical Hawaiian dish as well, except it is not made of raw fish.  Therefore, his sons started English 101 with him.

Son:"Dad, what is the beach that we just went?"

Dad:"What beach? oh, Anani Beach"

Son:"No, it is Anini Beach, not Anani Beach"

Dad:"Yes, Anini Beach"

Son:"Dad, what is the name of the fish dish you are going to buy?"

Dad:"Poi"

Son:"No, Dad.  It is called "Poke".  You know the game of Pokemon?, just take out of the sound of "Mon", you’ve got it"

Dad:"Ok, Poke"

The lesson was repeated several times.  Daddy always replied correctly and accepted the corrections of pronunciation in good humor.  Finally, our sons were satisfied with their lesson and pronounced that Daddy as a graduate.

As soon as we step into the Fish Market, Daddy asked the salesman "Can I buy a pound of Poi?"


Overheard

Day one:

14-year old son: “Dad, we had a career day today at school.  They gave us a list of ten top careers.  Since you do not want me to be an engineer, I think I am going to study Sociology.”

Dad: “No, not Sociology.  You won’t make any money”

Mom:”That is your Daddy’s opinion.  Don’t let your daddy’s opinion dictate what you are going to do for your future.  You are still young.  What is important is that you have to have the passion for what you do.”

Day two:

14-year old son: “Dad, you need to tell me how much you make”

Dad, pause a while: “No, I am not telling you.”

14-year old son:”Dad, I need to know how much you make so that I can compare and decide what I am going to do in the future.”

Dad: “No, I am not telling you how much I make; it is none of your business.”

11-year old son:”I know how much Daddy makes.  Mommy told me.  Daddy makes $100/hr.”  He said it very proudly.

Mom:”No, that is not true.  I only want to make you realize that a high school graduate can only make $10/hr, and a PHD like Daddy could make $100/hr. I just tossed a number out”

11-year old son:” Mom, you lied to me.”

Silence

Day three:

14-year old son: "Dad, have you turned in your tax return yet?"It was one day before April 15th.

Dad:"Yes, I did."

Mom:"Daddy never procrastinate.  You guys need to learn from him."

14-year old son:”Dad, you’d better train me how to file the tax return.” 

After a while, Dad:”No, I will not”

14-year old son:”Why not, Dad?”

Dad:” You just want to trick me into showing you how much I make.”

14-year old son:”No, Dad, I just want to learn the skills to prepare the tax return.  I don’t want the IRS knock at my door in the future.

Dad:”No, I am not showing you.  You can learn it by yourself.”


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